I am not your savior.

I am not your savior. You put more pressure on me than those around you, even though I believe I am insignificant in your life. Your expectations of me, on the other hand, prove me wrong. These expectations prove just how wrong you believe I can truly be. You want me to stay I can see it in your eyes. Yet you're too selfish to realize the devastation you're causing me. Too selfish to realize how much you've broken me. Maybe I can't live without you, still being with you right now seems like I'm not even living. So I wonder if I do leave, would there be a difference? If I do leave would anything really change? Because now that there is someone new, I can be free somewhat of these unrealistic standards. I can be free and most of all human, for I am not your savior.

I may have helped you like no other, but you believing I can't live without you is precisely the opposite because I'm confident it's you who can't live without me. For everything, you do you will remind you of me. You will remember me while you sleep, while you eat, and even when you don’t want to remember me, you always will because it is inevitable. So don’t think you can hold me with this one-sided dependency. For I am not your savior.

I once was, but not anymore since everything I've given you is gone. It's gone; I gave it away, and it's now gone... You praised, cherished, and so-called loved me when I was your savior, but it's all gone now, like everything else.

I'm curious as to how we've progressed from this love to this meaningless hate. How did we evolve?

Don’t tell me to stay when all I see is the hate in your eyes. When you smile in my face but the spirit of jealousy overrides. Don’t tell me to stay when you start lying to my face. Don’t tell me to stay when I see nothing, NOTHING of this life. It's not you, I'd say to make you feel better, but it's a part of you, and part of me knows I can't live without you, but I'm a masker, so I'll figure out how to live without you. I'll cope, I'll live, and I'll be free of this unrealistic reality. For I am not your savior. 


Written by Athalia



Comments

  1. AnonymousJuly 19, 2022 at 8:28 PM

    This is beautiful. This was written from a very sacred place. Your heart. Love this

    ReplyDelete

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